How To Deal With Your Partner's Ex Spouse

List: Posted: 02/16/11

If your spouse has been through a divorce, dealing with their ex might be something that you find you have to do at some point in your relationship.  There may be financial issues that still tie the two together, or you may find that your partner and his ex have children together and share custody.  In either case, the aftermath of divorce can be messy and you need to know how to handle meetings with the ex-spouse without causing additional drama.

When it comes to any interaction between you and the ex-spouse, remember to try to be polite.  They are human too, and if everyone tries to get along, things will be much more peaceful.  This is especially true if there are children involved.  Another thing to keep in mind is that an ex may see you as a threat to their parenting, or even as someone trying to take their role as parent away in the wake of the divorce.  Make certain that you explain that this is not the case and respect parental boundaries when possible.

When it comes to finances, severing links after divorce can be legally hard.  Whether it is joint tax debt, shared property, or other financial holdings, try to understand that the financial relationship does not mean that there is any other type of relationship.  Do not meddle in their financial affairs, but you can help by assisting your partner in researching how to get out of it as fast as possible.  If you need to pay to bring in a tax professional or a credit expert, do it and consider it an investment in your future as a couple.


In terms of child support, the best thing you can do is to accept it as a necessary expense to be shared between the two of you now.  After all, you get something out of the deal that is worth more than money - the love of your spouse.

Dealing with the remnants of your partner’s divorce is hard enough, and when there are still ties to 'The Ex' it can be even harder.  The key to dealing with their ex-spouse is to remember that the divorce happened for a reason and to simply try to be as civil as possible, and you'll find that life is much easier for everyone involved.

Divorce & Family Law Attorneys

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        The material in this article is for informational purposes only. The views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views or opinions of See Additional Information

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